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This Job Is A Real Kick In The Butt

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Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

(And in case you are wondering, yes, I'll be here all night!)

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What's the difference between medium and rare?

6 inches is medium, 8 inches is rare.

That's One Way to Get Nothing Done

Put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together... what do you have?

100 people who don't do dick.

From Down Under

A 40-year old woman never married because she only wanted a man who had never been with a woman sexually. And as you might imagine she searched for years but never could find one. So she finally tried one of those International dating sites and sure enough met a man who had lived his entire life in the Australian Outback. After a long-distance online courtship, they finally decided to marry.

On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare herself for the long awaited moment. When she walks back into the bedroom she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, totally naked, and he has all the furniture piled in one corner. "What happened?" she asks.

"I’ve never been with a woman," he tells her. "But if it’s anything like fucking a kangaroo I’m gonna need all the room I can get!"