Why did Santa get arrested?
He got caught laying Barbie under the Christmas tree!
My wife and I were discussing the news. I said: "What's the big deal about same-sex marriage?"
She said: "You're right. We've been married for years, and we keep having the same lousy sex."
And that's when the fight started...
I just bought the latest sleep-number smart bed. It detects when you're screwing your wife, locks the front door and turns on the stereo so your neighbors can't hear you. My number is 69.
What do you call a man who lost all his intelligence?
A widower.
