Why do men like women with small hands?
It makes their dicks look bigger.
Why were there only two pallbearers at the homeless guy's funeral?
There are only two handles on a garbage can.
Your wife & your lawyer are drowning, so you have to choose. What do you do: go to lunch or catch a movie?
Put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together... what do you have?
100 people who don't do dick.
