Why do men like women with small hands?
It makes their dicks look bigger.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A Mechanic.
When I was younger romance was all X's an O's.
Nowadays it's just Exes and Hoes.
I told my wife our credit cards were stolen, but I'm not reporting it.
She asked why not?
"Cause the thief spends less than you do."
And that's when the fight started...
