Why do blondes like to drive cars with a sunroof?
More leg room.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and suck on his dick!
What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?
One's a Goodyear and the other is a fucking good year.
Bad things come in three's. Always in three's.
The other day I was screwing my girlfriend while her husband was on a business trip. First she said three words: "Is it in?"
Then she followed that with: "Are you done?"
And finally I heard the front door open and a man's voice shout out: "Honey, I'm home!"
