What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?
Forty-five pounds.
"Every Sunday you go fishing, right?
Husband: "Yeah why?"
"The fish came by to tell you she's pregnant!"
You should never make jokes about vaginas...
Period.
I'm feeling a bit more mature these days so I wasn't embarrassed walking into the drug store to buy condoms. That is, until the woman behind the counter advised me, 'Save your money -- buy a lottery ticket.'
