What makes a man think about a dinner by candlelight?
A power failure.
What do you call a 350-pound stripper?
Broke.
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
(With thanks to the great Henny Youngman.)
Valentines Day is going to be great! I'm guaranteed to fuck my wife up the ass tonight.
She's dyslexic and thinks it's Vaseline Day.
