One Man's Heaven Is Another Woman's Hell

Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be called hell.

I once went on date with a girl who didn't swallow.

There was soup everywhere!

What do you call hooker that likes it in the ass?

A crack whore.

Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.