One Man's Heaven Is Another Woman's Hell

Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be called hell.

Little Johnny came home and told his mom he got kicked out of mathematics class. His mom asked "What happened."

Little Johnny told her: "The teacher asked me, 'What comes after 69?' Apparently 'mouthwash' was the wrong answer!"

Why does a blonde have two more brain cells than a horse?

So she won't shit on the street during the parade.

What's the difference between zebras and female Marines?

Zebras don't have to suck anybody's dick to get their stripes.