Hookers Or Bungee Jumping

What does bungee jumping & a hooker have in common?

Cost: a 100 bucks. If the rubber breaks you're screwed.

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look way better at night than any jar of cold cream.

And that's when the fight started...

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

What is the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste. Ewww...