A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 3136

What's a pussy?

The box a dick comes in.

Did you see that one coming?

 

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2263

Why were there only two pallbearers at the homeless guy's funeral?

There are only two handles on a garbage can.

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 2531

Guy gets home from work on the day the stock market tumbled looking visibly upset. His wife asks: "Honey, what's the matter?"

He tells her: "I can't believe I lost half my money and I still have you."

And that's when the fight started...

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2747

Old guy calls a plumber. "There's a leak over my kitchen table."

The plumber asks him "When did you first notice it?"

"After it took me two hours to finish my soup last night."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

More Meat Please

A guy from America asked the gal from Sweden to dance at the college fraternity party. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call that a hug". She replies, "Yaah, in Sweden, we call it a hug too."

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call that a kiss". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."

Towards the end of the night, and a whole lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her. While he's pumping away he leans over and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich".

She says, "Yaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too. Only we usually put more meat in it."

Getting Off On My Floor?

Two stock brokers are checking out a new secretary.

The first one says, "She's got nothing going on upstairs."

The second one says, "That wouldn't be the floor I'd be getting off on."

Best If Used By

Wife asks her spouse: "What are you doing?" Her husband says: "Nothing." So she presses him: "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for the last hour."

He tells her: "Well... yeah... I was looking for the expiration date."

And that's when the fight started...