Rest In Peace

Why were there only two pallbearers at the homeless guy's funeral?

There are only two handles on a garbage can.

How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?

Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.

I used to get a hard-on just watching my wife eat a banana.

Now I only get a hard-on if she's choking on it.

What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito?

The hooker sucks harder when you smack her.