Every Frickin' Joke - Results from #500

Take Out Chinese Anyone?

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 21 May 2016; Hits: 2946

A Chinese guy calls his boss and says: "Me sick... Can`t come to work today." The Boss says: "No problem. When I'm sick, I fuck my wife... try that!"

Two hours later the Chinese guy rings back and says: "Me better now... you got a nice house!"

Don't ... Stop!

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 20 May 2016; Hits: 3120

Mom giving advice to her daughter: "If a boy touches your boobies say 'don't' and if he touches your pussy say 'stop.'

Daughter's reply: "oh mom, I already know that. And last night my boyfriend touched both so I said 'don’t stop!'

Get Your Nails Done Too

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 19 May 2016; Hits: 2079

I love dating manicurists and hair stylists.

One does hand jobs, the other does blow jobs!

Have You Upgraded To 4K?

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 18 May 2016; Hits: 2336

At a party the other night I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently "In HD" was not the best answer.

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Let Me Introduce You To

What did one whore's knee say to the other?

Nothing... they never met.

Karma Is A Bitch

A woman yells out, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight, you pig!" Everyone in the bar stops and stares. Completely embarrassed, the guy slinks back to his table with a red face.

After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing public situations."

To which the guy responds as loudly as possible, "What do you mean $200 for a blowjob?"

World Renown

I want you to know I'm famous for more than just this website. My dick was in the Guiness Book of World Records.

Until the librarian kicked me out.