A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Category: Dick Jokes
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Guy goes to psychiatrist wearing only saran wrap.

The doc tells him: "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."

Category: Dick Jokes
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What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

I wouldn't pay fifty bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

Category: Dick Jokes
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How can you tell a blind guy at a nude beach?

It's not hard.

Category: And that's when the fight started...
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My wife and I were sitting at breakfast having bacon and eggs. I told her: Darling, you're just like bacon... you look, smell and taste fantastic!"

Thanks she said... before I added: "And your both killing me slowly."

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Reality Check

A drunk wakes up in a cemetery in a freshly-dug grave. He thinks: If I'm alive, why's there a tombstone? If I'm dead, why do I have to piss?

At Least Take A Lunch Break

A woman asks her husband if he’d like some breakfast. "Would you maybe like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast? Grapefruit and coffee?" He declines. "It’s this Viagra," he says, "It’s really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunchtime, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of homemade soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?" she inquires. He declines. "It’s this Viagra," he says, "it’s really taken the edge off my appetite."

Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. She tells hum "I’ll go to the store and buy you whatever you want. Maybe a steak and apple pie? Maybe a pizza or a tasty stir-fry that would only take a couple of minutes?" And once again he declines. "It’s this Viagra," he says, "it’s really taken the edge off my appetite."

"Well," she says, "would you mind letting me up? I’m fuckin' starving."

The Similarities are Striking

How are fat chicks like a moped?

They may be fun to ride if you got nothin' better, but you wouldn't want your friends to find out.