A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2488

What do you call a nurse with dirty knees?

The head nurse.

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2397

An old man was in the red light district and approached a cute little prostitute working the corner. He asked: "How's about some action?" The girl looked him up and down and said: "Old man, I think you've had it!"

To which the old guy replied: "OK... how much do I owe you."

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 1717

Dr. Dave slept with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it, he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while, he'd hear an internal voice that said, "Dave, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to sleep with one of their patients, and you won't be the last. And you're single. Let it go."

But invariably, the another voice would bring him back to reality. "But Dave, you're a vet."

 

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2142

Two old ladies are sitting on the park bench feeding the pigeons. Suddenly the first one says to her friend: "Did you just fart?"

Her friend answers: "Of course I did. You think I always smell like this?"

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Knew It Wouldn't Work

My wife suggested we go to a marriage counselor to work on our relationship. I said sure. We get there and the therapist asks me to tell how I felt.

I said: "I knew right from the beginning our marriage wouldn't work. I'm an Aquarius and she's a cunt."

And that's when the fight started...

One Day in a Meadow

One day a horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow when the horse falls into a mudhole and begins sinking. He calls to the chicken to go get the farmer to pull him out. The chicken runs back to the farm but the farmer is nowhere to be seen. So thinking fast the chicken jumps in the farmer's Porsche and drives back to the mudhole. He ties a rope around the bumper then throws the other end to his friend, the horse. Driving the car forward he saves his friend from sinking!

A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again, only this time it's the chicken who falls into the mudhole. The chicken yells to the horse to go get the farmer for help. The horse says, "Wait a minute. I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretches himself over the width of the hole and says, "Grab my dick and hoist yourself up." And the chicken does excatly that and is able to pull himself to safety.

The moral of the story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Porsche to pick up chicks!

 

A Simple Plan

What did the dick say to the balls?

You guys hang around here while I go inside.