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Only The Best For My Princess

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 28 July 2016
Hits: 2589

A father has three daughters who are all getting married on the same day.

He asks his oldest daughter, "Whom do you wish to marry?" She says, "Father, I wish to marry the man with three dragons on his chest."

He walks over to his second daughter and asks her the same question. She replies, "Father, I wish to marry the man with two dragons on his chest."

He then goes to his youngest daughter and asks her the same question. She replies, "I wish to marry the man with one draggin' on the floor!"

Reason To Stay Single

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 27 July 2016
Hits: 2741

The laundromat: a bad place to find chicks.

If she can't afford a washing machine how can she support you?

He Oughta Be Hit With That Ruler

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 26 July 2016
Hits: 2651

My wife caught me measuring my dick and snickered: "So how long is it?"

I told her: "Long enough to reach the back of your sister's throat!"

And that's when the fight started...

I'm A Little Hungry

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 25 July 2016
Hits: 3153

An old guy and his wife are sitting on the couch watching TV. The old gal tells her husband: "Go in the kitchen and get me some ice cream." So the old guy gets up and shuffles off to bring his sweetie a treat. By the time he gets to the kitchen he totally forgets what he's there for. So he opens the fridge, looks around and finally grabs some eggs and bacon. He whips up a quick batch of bacon and eggs and heads back to the den.

When he walks in carrying the plate his wife looks up with a scowl and barks: "You forgot the toast!"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Bon Voyage

Johnson is standing on the train platform when the guy next to him waves and yells" "Goodbye! Your wife's a great fuck!"

Johnson is shocked and asks the guy: "Who were you yelling to?" The guy tells Johsnon: "That's my brother." "Wow" Johnson tells him, "That's incedibly insensitive!"

The guy says: "Actually I'm very sensitive. My brother's wife is a lousy fuck. I didn't want to hurt his feelings."

Paper or Plastic?

A guy stops in to the drugstore with his wife to buy condoms. "Do you want a bag?", the cashier asks.

"No", the guy says, "she's not that ugly!"

And that's when the fight started...

Another Bingo!

How do you get four old ladies to shout "Fuck"?

Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"

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