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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Natural Viagra

Created: 03 May 2015
Hits: 2883

Morris walks into a doctor's office and says, "Doc, you gotta help me. I've got a constant erection. At first it was fun, but then it became painful and embarrassing."

He takes down his pants, and his hardon is sticking straight out. The doctor looks at it for a minute, then whacks it with two fingers. A little bug jumps off, scurries away and just like that the hardon goes right down.

Morris says, "Gee, Doc, that's great. How much do I owe you?"

The doctor says, "Help me find that bug and you don't owe me a thing."

Go F*ck Yourself

Created: 01 May 2015
Hits: 3211

Guy bought his wife a new coat and a dildo. Figured if she didn't like the coat, she could go fuck herself.

Being A Lawyer Isn't So Bad

Created: 28 April 2015
Hits: 2570

A lawyer asks his partner, "Are you fucking the new secretary?"

The partner tells him, "No."

So the first lawyer says, "Great! Then you fire her."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

And When You Die...

My wife and I were having our usual back and forth when I finally got frustrated and told her: "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever"

"Yeah?" she replied. " Well, when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"

And that's when the fight started...

A Pop Quiz

Here's a math question. If you get into bed 9 hours before you have to wake up, and your wife wants to have 2 hours of sex, how much sleep will you get?

Answer: 8 hours, 57 minutes - who cares what she wants!

Up Or Down?

The other night my wife and I were in bed and I asked her: "Honey, why do you like it so much when you are on top?"

She said: "'Cause all you do is fuck up."

And that's when the fight started...

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