What's the smartest thing that ever came out of a woman's mouth?
Einstein's dick.
What's the difference between a husand and a wife?
Wives want to videotape the birth of their child. Husbands want to videotape the conception.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
Old guy says: "Doc, every morning at 7 I take a healthy piss, and then at 8 I take a big shit."
"So... what's the problem?"
"I don't get up until 9."
