What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
I was walking in the park the other day with my wife when she pointed to a young couple sitting on a bench, passionately kissing. "Why don't you do that?" she asked.
"Honey," I replied, "I don't even know that woman!"
And that's when the fight started...
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
(Hope that one wasn't too bad!)
What did the guy say to his dick when he saw the girl he was about to fuck had genital warts?
"Hang on, boy! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!"
