A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Peeing In The Shower Saves Water

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My girlfriend's a real clean freak. She says it's disgusting to piss in the bathtub.

Next time maybe I should wait until she gets out.

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Another Blonde Joke

Why do blondes like to drive cars with a sunroof?

More leg room.

It's All How You Look At It

A married couple goes to the same Italian restaurant every Sunday for 30 years. And every time they show up the owner says, "Hey! Its-a you two guys. You my favorite-a couple. You made-a for each other. You last-a so long. You meant-a to be!"

Then one Sunday the guy walks in alone. The owner says, "Whats-a happened?" The guy tells him, "We got a divorce."

The Italian guy says, "Oh, you much-a better off-a now."

Better Than Lifting Weights

My wife and I love to work out. This morning at the gym we had a discussion. She asked me: "What do you think is the most active muscle in a woman?"

I told her: "My dick."

And that's when the fight started...