What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing. You already told her twice.
A man walks into the kitchen and finds his wife boiling eggs. She looks at him passionately, lays on the counter, and says, "Make love to me Randy!"
Not wanting to lose the chance he embraces her quickly and they make passionate love.
When they are finished he asks her, "What was that about?"
She replies, "The egg timer was broken."
A recent survey shows that sperm banks beat blood banks in contributions... HANDS DOWN!
A guy, seeing two dogs going at it on the lawn says to his buddy, "You and your wife ever do it like that?"
"Only once" says his friend. "And it took 5 drinks to get her out in the yard."
