As He Walked Through The Bar

: Created: 23 October 2014; Hits: 2555

A young guy walks into a bar and as he passes an old man sitting there the old guy looks up and blurts out: "I fucked your mother."

The young guy ignores the old coot and keeps on walkin' when the old guy shouts: "Your mother sucks my dick".

So the young guy turns back and says: "Dad... your drunk... go home."

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In The Doctor's Office

A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to see a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress.

After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. He asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she replied, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.” “That is right,” said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. “Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asked. “Yes,” the woman said, “you’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer.” “Correct,” replied the shady doctor.

Finally, he mounts his patient and starts having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, “Do you know what I’m doing now?” “Yes,” she said. “You’re getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place!”

Count On This Happening

Little Johnny came home and told his mom he got kicked out of mathematics class. His mom asked "What happened."

Little Johnny told her: "The teacher asked me, 'What comes after 69?' Apparently 'mouthwash' was the wrong answer!"

Needs More Duct Tape

What's the best thing about duct tape?

It turns, "No! No!," into "Mmm! Mmm!"