More Than He Bargained For

Guy walks into a bar carrying a pistol and shouts: "Which one of you assholes slept with my wife?"

A drunk sitting at the end of the bar shouts back: "You ain't got enough bullets buddy."

A married couple has sex and it's a real quickie.

The wife cries because it's over.

And the husband smiles because it happened.

Why does the bar association forbid lawyers & clients from having sex?

To prevent them from billing twice for essentially the same service.

What do you call a nurse with dirty knees?

The head nurse.