What do you call a guy with a small dick?
Justin!
What do you call a guy with a giant dick?
Phil!
What did the guy say to his dick when he saw the girl he was about to fuck had genital warts?
"Hang on, boy! It's gonna be a bumpy ride!"
If the dove is The Bird Of Love, what's The Bird of True Love?
The swallow.
My wife wanted to be a little playful, so she whispered: "Say dirty things to me!"
So I said: "Bathroom, kitchen, living room..."
And that's when the fight started...
