The House Dictates the Policy

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?

Another lawyer.

The laundromat: a bad place to find chicks.

If she can't afford a washing machine how can she support you?

What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats?

Cowboy hats are for assholes.