The Dog's Rule Of Life: If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it.
You know old Dick tries to stay pretty busy. Last week I did a benefit for the "Tempura House"... that's a shelter for lightly battered women.
Why shouldn't you cut suppositories in half?
They're supposed to be shoved up your ass whole.
I was visiting New York City recently and had to ask for directions. I went over to a random guy on the street and asked for his help.
Right away he told me, "Sure, head down 42nd street and take a left at the corner of get a map and fuck you!"
Gee, New Yorkers are so friendly...
