The Dog's Rule Of Life: If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it.
Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder?
He got a little behind in his work.
(And in case you are wondering, yes, I'll be here all night!)
How do you know if your wife's dead?
You stick your dick in her mouth and she doesn't turn her head.
Guy goes to his boss and asks for a day off, proudly saying: "My wife's gonna have a baby!" The boss tells him of course you can take the day off.
Two days later the guy shows up for work and the boss asks him: "So... was it a boy or a girl."
The guy replies: "How do I know... it takes nine months!"
