You didn't know old Dick Johnson is a bit of a poet, did you. Yep! My dick is a Longfellow.
Why are dicks like fish?
You throw the small ones back, you keep the medium ones and you mount the big ones.
Teacher to the class: "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"
So Little Johnny raises his hand: "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"
The Teacher said looked puzzled but answered: "Of course not Johnny."
To which Little Johnny answered: "Then I have definitely crapped my pants."
Why is a pussy like the weather?
Because once it's wet, you know it's time to go inside.
