You didn't know old Dick Johnson is a bit of a poet, did you. Yep! My dick is a Longfellow.
"IT'S A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, IT'S A BOY."
And with tears streaming down my face I swore I'd never visit another Thai Brothel again!
A doctor told his patient her test results came back and she had a rare disease with only 6 months to live.
"That's such a short amount of time." the woman begged, "Isn't there anything I can do?"
"Marry a lawyer," the doctor told her. "It will be the longest six months of your life."
I ripped one watching the TV with my wife when she asked: "Why do men fart more than women?"
I told her: "'Cause women won't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure."
And that's when the fight started...