Don't Ask

: Created: 08 July 2016; Hits: 2059

My wife was curious. She asked: "When do married men stop jerking off?"

I told her: "When they get divorced."

And that's when the fight started...

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Kosher for Passover

A husband sees his wife is getting ready to prepare for Passover. "This year I really want to help out." he tells her, "Whatever you need me to do, ask... I will do it." His wife tells him, "Don't take this the wrong way, but the best thing you can do to help is to leave the house and let me get my work done without any interruptions." So the husband does exactly what she asks and leaves.

Three hours later his wife hears him come back in. She shouts, "I thought I told that the best way to help me would be to leave." He responds, "You expect me to help the whole day?"

And that's when the fight started...

Only The Best For My Princess

A father has three daughters who are all getting married on the same day.

He asks his oldest daughter, "Whom do you wish to marry?" She says, "Father, I wish to marry the man with three dragons on his chest."

He walks over to his second daughter and asks her the same question. She replies, "Father, I wish to marry the man with two dragons on his chest."

He then goes to his youngest daughter and asks her the same question. She replies, "I wish to marry the man with one draggin' on the floor!"

Ten Items or Less

Gal to cashier: "I'm in a hurry, can you please check me out?"

Clerk looks her up & down: "Nice tits, babe!"