A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

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What's the best thing about dating homeless chicks?

You can drop them off anywhere.

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Why were there only two pallbearers at the homeless guy's funeral?

There are only two handles on a garbage can.

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Old guy calls a plumber. "There's a leak over my kitchen table."

The plumber asks him "When did you first notice it?"

"After it took me two hours to finish my soup last night."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Drive Safely

A car was driving recklessly down the street, swerving left and right. When it whizzed past a cop he pulled it over. A blonde rolled down the window and said, " Officer, I'm so glad you're here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting them!"

The officer looked at her and said, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

You're Having My Baby

Guy goes to his boss and asks for a day off, proudly saying: "My wife's gonna have a baby!" The boss tells him of course you can take the day off.

Two days later the guy shows up for work and the boss asks him: "So... was it a boy or a girl."

The guy replies: "How do I know... it takes nine months!"

Let's Pretend

Sally: "Let's play house."

Little Johnny: "What do I do?"

Sally: "Communicate your feelings."

Johnny: "How do I do that?"

Sally: "Perfect. You can be the husband!"