Why did the woman cross the road?
Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?
A son asks, "Dad, how come I have brown skin and you are white?"
"Well son, just take a look at your mother,".
"But Dad, she's not black either."
"I know, you idiot! She's a fucking whore!"
I come home from work to find my wife in tears sobbing her mom passed away. She asks: "What should we do -- cremate her or bury her?"
I tell her: "Don't take any chances. Do both."
And that's when the fight started...
Who's the world's greatest athlete?
The guy who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest.
