Why did the woman cross the road?
Never mind that, what the fuck is she doing out of the kitchen?
Wife to her husband in frustration: "Get the fuck out." Then, as he's leaving, she adds, "I hope you die a slow painful death."
He turns back to her and says, "So now you want me to stay?"
And that's when the REAL fight started...
What's even better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being a retard.
My wife and I were discussing the differences between men and women. She asked: "So what do you think the biggest difference is?"
I told her: "What comes to mind when I say I'd like to give you a facial!"
And that's when the fight started...