A Polish guy didn't know the difference between incest & arson.
He set his sister on fire.
What do you get when you sleep with a judge?
An honorable discharge.
My wife sidled up to me last night and asked: "Would you like a little pussy?"
I said: "I sure would, 'cause yours is as big as a house!"
And that's when the fight started...
I asked my wife: "Where do you want to go for our anniversary, honey?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested: "How about the kitchen?"
