A woman is in her doctor's office, when she suddenly shouts out, "Doctor, kiss me". The Doctor looks at her and says that it would be against his code of ethics to kiss her.
About 20 minutes later the woman again shouts out "Doctor, please, kiss me just once". Again he refuses, apologetically, but says that as a doctor he simply cannot kiss her.
Finally another 15 minutes pass, and the woman pleads with the doctor, "Doctor, Doctor, please kiss me just once!!"
"Look" he says, "I'm sorry. I just CANNOT kiss you. In fact, I probably shouldn't even be screwing you either."
A couple had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife finally had enough. She figured she would break him of that crazy habit. So one night, while they were right in the middle of a romantic session, she flipped on the lights.
To her shock she looked down and saw her husband was holding a giant dildo. She got extremely upset. "You impotent bastard!" she screamed at him. "How could you lie to me all these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looked her straight in the eyes and said calmly, "I'll explain the rubber dick if you explain the kids."
