What's the difference between love, true love, and just showing off?
Spit, swallow, and gargle
Basically there are 5 kinds of sex:
Smurf Sex - On your honeymoon you keep doing it until you're both blue in the face.
Kitchen Sex - At the beginning of your marriage you'll have sex anytime, anywhere - even in the kitchen.
Bedroom Sex - When you've settled down a bit, maybe have some kids, so you gotta restrict it to the bedroom.
Hallway Sex - You reach the point where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Fuck you!"
Courtroom Sex - Finally, you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of the whole courtroom.
What do you call 8 days of blowjobs by candlelight?
Honica Lewinsky.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
