What's the difference between love, true love, and just showing off?
Spit, swallow, and gargle
A doctor examining a little old man tells him, "You're suffering from exhaustion. How often do you have sex?"
The old guy says, "Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday."
The doc says, "Well, that could be the problem. Maybe you should try eliminating Wednesdays."
The old guy replies, "I can't, Doc. That's the only night I go home."
Why are blondes so easy to get into bed?
Who cares!
Bad things come in three's. Always in three's.
The other day I was screwing my girlfriend while her husband was on a business trip. First she said three words: "Is it in?"
Then she followed that with: "Are you done?"
And finally I heard the front door open and a man's voice shout out: "Honey, I'm home!"