What would you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a box with his arms and legs?
Kit.
Definition of love: Your heart melts and comes squirting out the end of your dick.
I come home from work to find my wife in tears sobbing her mom passed away. She asks: "What should we do -- cremate her or bury her?"
I tell her: "Don't take any chances. Do both."
And that's when the fight started...
What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
As soon as you see it coming you know someone is going to lose a trailer.
