What do you call a rabbit with no feet?
Unlucky.
I turned my whole life around.
I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.
I came home one evening and my wife was in the kitchen crying.
She told me she had baked me a pie and the dog ate it.
I told her: "Don't cry honey. I'll buy you another dog."
And that's when the fight started.
A blind guy in Macy's has his seeing-eye dog by the tail and is twirling it over his head.
A salesman walks up and asks: "Can I help you?"
The blind guy replies: "Nah. I'm just looking around."
