How does a redneck girl practice safe sex?
She locks the doors on her pickup truck.
Three women were talking about what's it like in bed with their husbands.
The first said, "My husband is like a Rolls-Royce; smooth and sophisticated."
The second said, "Mine is like a Porsche; fast and powerful."
The third said, "Mine is like an antique Chevy. I have to start it by hand and then jump on once it gets going."
My wife and I were talking about the differences between little boys and little girls. I asked her: "Why don't little girls fart like little boys do?"
She answered: "Because they don't get assholes until they're married."
And that's when the fight started...
2 reasons I know I'm getting old. My memory's not as sharp as it once was & my memory's not so good anymore.
