The difference between a redneck & poor white trash? Redneck knocks his sister up, white trash marries her.
What do you get when you cross a whore with a systems engineer?
A fuckin know-it-all!
In college I wanted to join the debating team.
But somebody talked me out of it.
My wife saw a Craigslist ad where a guy was offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium. She looked at me and asked: "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not," I told her. "The season's more than half over!"
And that's when the fight started...