An Age Old Question

Your wife & your lawyer are drowning, so you have to choose. What do you do: go to lunch or catch a movie?

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

The position of the dirt bag.

I bet my wife she couldn't piss me off and make me happy at the same time.

"No problem" was her reply, "Your dick is a lot bigger than your brother's."

And that's when the fight started...

Why'd the guy text his wife a picture of his limp dick?

Wanted to let her know he was thinking about her.