An Age Old Question

Your wife & your lawyer are drowning, so you have to choose. What do you do: go to lunch or catch a movie?

What do you have with two balls in your hand?

A man's undivided attention.

"Was your car ride with Grandma fun?"

"No Grampa. We didn't see any assholes, dumb bastards or shitheads."

Dick's Advice: Best way to avoid an alcohol-related accident? Get so fucked up you can't find your car.