What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other?
Wow! We do taste just like chicken!
My wife and I were lying in bed last night. She gently leaned over and whispered: "I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world."
So I leaned over and whispered back: "I'm going to miss you."
And that's when the fight started...
The masochist begs: "Beat me, beat me."
The sadist smiles and says: "Nooooo!"
My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.
I'm not some kind of stud.
I'm a lazy bastard postman.
