What's the best way to keep kitty litter fresh?
Kill your cat.
What makes a man think about a dinner by candlelight?
A power failure.
A doctor examining a little old man tells him, "You're suffering from exhaustion. How often do you have sex?"
The old guy says, "Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday."
The doc says, "Well, that could be the problem. Maybe you should try eliminating Wednesdays."
The old guy replies, "I can't, Doc. That's the only night I go home."
How does a redneck girl practice safe sex?
She locks the doors on her pickup truck.