How is a woman like a hurricane?
When they come, they're loud and wet, and when they leave, they take your house and car.
What's more profitable, a 1-story whore house or a 2-story whore house?
A 1-story... no fucking overhead.
A cop pulls a guy over and says, "Hey pal... did you know your wife fell out a few blocks back?"
"Thank God... I thought I went deaf."
What's the difference between a husand and a wife?
Wives want to videotape the birth of their child. Husbands want to videotape the conception.