Don't Drink And Drive

Dick's Advice: Best way to avoid an alcohol-related accident? Get so fucked up you can't find your car.

What do a wife & a condom have in common?

They both spend wayyy more time in your wallet than on your dick.

How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?

Call her and tell her.

What is the difference between erotic and kinky?

Erotic is when you use a feather on her... kinky is when you use the whole chicken.