How Long Has That Condom Been In Your Wallet?

What do a wife & a condom have in common?

They both spend wayyy more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Hired a 19 year-old Danish girl with huge tits to babysit.

Now where the fuck am I going to get some kids?

Why aren't federal government employees allowed to look out the window in the morning?

Because then they would have nothing to do in the afternoon.

Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?

So men can understand them.