What do a wife & a condom have in common?
They both spend wayyy more time in your wallet than on your dick.
On our honeymoon night I asked my bride, "Honey... am I the first?"
She replied, "Why does everybody ask that?"
And that's when the fight started...
Wife to her husband in frustration: "Get the fuck out." Then, as he's leaving, she adds, "I hope you die a slow painful death."
He turns back to her and says, "So now you want me to stay?"
And that's when the REAL fight started...
What would you call a dead prostitute?
Free.