What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag.
What do you call a nurse with dirty knees?
The head nurse.
A guy was complaining to his buddy that his new girlfriend was really kinky. His friend asked him: "How so?"
"Well" came the answer, "All she wants me to do is screw her in the ear." "In the ear? Wow. That is weird," his buddy remarked.
"Yeah," the guy continued. "Every time I go to stick my dick in her mouth, she turns her head."
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use some lubricant.
