A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 2360

I told my wife, "Honey, I bought some Olympic condoms today. I think I'll wear Gold tonight."

She replied, "Why not wear Silver and not finish first for a change?"

And that's when the fight started...

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2453

I'm trying to write a joke about unemployed people.

It needs more work.

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2289

One night a man walks into a bar looking sad. The bartender asks the guy what he wants. He says, “Oh, just gimme a beer”.

The bartender asks him “What's wrong, you look really down.”. The man replied, “My wife and i got into a fight and she told me she wouldn't talk to me for a month”. The bartender said “So whats the problem?”

The man said, “Well... the month's up tonight.”

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2151

A man and his wife were traveling down the highway when they saw the lights of a patrol car behind them. When they pulled over, the patrol man came up to the window and said, "I am going to give you two tickets. One because you were speeding and one because you didn't have your seat belt fastened."

The man said, "I did too have my seat belt fastened. I just loosened it when you came up to the car." The Patrol Man said to the man's wife, "I know he didn't have his seatbelt fastened. Isn't that right, lady?"

She replied, "Well, officer. I learned a long time ago not to argue with my husband when he's drunk."

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Shoulda Used A Towel

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Apparently "Heating up your dinner." wasn't the right answer.

Musings From George Burns

1st you forget names, then faces. Next it's pulling your zipper up, And finally you forget to pull it down.

Look It Up

A koala bear walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender points to a cute little trick at the end of the bar. So the koala bear walks up to her and in a few minutes they're heading to her place. When they get they're the koala bear immediately goes down on her. After a few minutes he jumps up and splits.

The next night, the woman spots the koala bear at the bar again and confronts him saying: "You owe me money!" "For what?" the koala asks. The woman rolls her eyes and tells him, "I'm a prostitute." The koala bear pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The koala says, "I don't owe you a thing. I'm a koala bear. Look it up." Before she can protest the koala hands her the dictionary.

The woman looks up "koala bear" and reads, "Koala bear: Eats bush and leaves.”