Shoulda Used A Towel

My girlfriend caught me drying my dick with the hair dryer. She asked: "What are you doing?"

Apparently "Heating up your dinner." wasn't the right answer.

My wife asked me: "Why do you go out on the balcony every time I start to sing?"

I told her: "I don't want the neighbors to think I'm beating you."

And that's when the fight started...

Why did the feminist cross the road?

To suck my dick. Booyaa!

Why can't lesbians adopt a child?

Because they don't serve minors to lickers.