Every Frickin' Joke - Results from #536

Doesn't Always Take Two

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 15 April 2016; Hits: 2535

What does a woman's asshole do when she has an orgasm?

He's probably home watching football or something.

Sex Ed

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 14 April 2016; Hits: 2263

Little Johnny was in sex ed class when the teacher began a discussion about genitals. Johnny shouted out, "My old man has got two of those"

The teacher was shocked and asked Johnny to explain.

"Well, the small one he uses when he takes a piss. And the large one he uses to brush the baby sitter's teeth."

A Night On The Town

: Category: And that's when the fight started...; Published: 13 April 2016; Hits: 2393

My wife suggested: "Let’s go out and have some fun tonight!"

So I told her: "Sure... but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on."

And that's when the fight started...

The One Thing Not To Do

: Category: Dick Jokes; Published: 12 April 2016; Hits: 2577

What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from an old woman have in common?

You don't look down.

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No Reason To Split Up

This couple gets married. After several weeks of marital bliss the guy wants to show his wife just how much she means to him. So he has "I Love You" tattooed on his dick.

One month later the wife files for divorce. When the guy asks why, she tells him: "You keep putting words in my mouth."

BaaaAAAHH

Why's a sheep better than a woman?

A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.

You Go First

A couple had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife finally had enough. She figured she would break him of that crazy habit. So one night, while they were right in the middle of a romantic session, she flipped on the lights.

To her shock she looked down and saw her husband was holding a giant dildo. She got extremely upset. "You impotent bastard!" she screamed at him. "How could you lie to me all these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looked her straight in the eyes and said calmly, "I'll explain the rubber dick if you explain the kids."