Dick Jokes
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A cute young blonde goes to a radio station late one night and kocks on the door. The all-night D.J. lets her in and chats to her between songs. Pretty soon he starts getting really horny. Finally, he can't stand it any more. So he rolls his chair over in front of her, stands on it, takes out his dick and sticks it right in her face. He looks down at her and says, "You know what to do!"
She looks up at him and says, "I-I think so." He says, "Then go ahead."
She grabs it and screams into it, "I just want to say hello to Terry and Holly and the whole gang at Matt's Grill."
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A guy visits a psychiatrist and lies on the couch. The doc asks: "What's your problem?"
The guy tells him, "Doc, I can't seem to make any friends. Can you help me, you fat fuck?"
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A guy was talking to his buddy, "I learned a very important life lesson today. I'm getting married in a few weeks and I went over to my fiancee's house to look at the wedding invitations with her mom. Her mother's really sexy, and as we were looking at the invitations, she started rubbing my leg. Within a few minutes she leaned over and asked me if I'd take her upstairs and fuck her. I immediately got up and walked out the front door. On the way out I ran into her father. He smiled and told me 'You passed our little test, son. Glad to have you in the family.'"
"So what's the life lesson?" his friend asked.
"Always keep your rubbers in the glove box."