What's the definition of eternity?
The time between when you cum and when she leaves.
What is the difference between a New York City taxi and an elephant?
The elephant has the trunk in the front and the asshole in the back.
What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?
Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12.
Lying in bed watching TV with the wife I kept switching back and forth between a fishing channel and a porn channel.
So my wife grabbed the remote and barked: "For Christ's sake, leave it on the porn channel. You already know how to fish."
And that's when the fight started...