What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates?
A tearjerker.
You know why men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.
What actress would you like to be stuck in an elevator with?
One who knows how to fix elevators.
I told my pal: "I got a brand new digital hearing aid, $10,000!" "What kind is it?" he asked.
"Six-thirty."
