No Fairy Tale

: Created: 12 January 2017; Hits: 2852

Little Red Riding Hood went to grandma's house and found her lying in bed. Little Red Riding Hood said, ''Grandma, what big eyes you have!'' Grandma replied: ''The better to see you with, my dear.'' Then Little Red Riding Hood remarked: ''Grandma, what big ears you have!'' Grandma smiled and said: "The better to hear you with, my dear.''

Finally Little Red Riding Hood said: ''Grandma, what a big mouth you have!'' Grandma snapped back: ''Of course I do! Have you seen Grandpa's dick?!?''

Don't Miss These Jokes!

The House Dictates the Policy

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

Let's Just Pretend

A new bride was embarrassed to be on her honeymoon. When she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear as if they had been married a long time.

He responded, "Sure. You carry the luggage!"

And that's when the fight started...

Timing Is Everything

A cop was patrolling the local lover's lane when he drove by a car with a couple inside and the dome light on. It appeared that the young man in the driver’s seat was reading a computer magazine and the young lady was in the back seat knitting. Stopping to investigate the cop knocked on driver’s window. The young man rolled the window down and said, "Yes officer?"

"What are you doing?" the cop asks. "What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I’m reading a magazine."

Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?" The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look like?, She's knitting."

"How old are you?" the officer asked the young man. "I’m nineteen." he replied. "And how old is she?" asked the officer.

The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she’ll be eighteen."