On The High Seas

: Created: 15 August 2016; Hits: 2227

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his dick. The bartender looks at him and says: "Hey matey, do you know you have a steering wheel attached to your dick?"

The pirate replies: "Arrrgh... and it's driving me nuts!"

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Down Boy

A guy visits the psychiatrist and tells him: "Doc, I need help, I think I'm turning into a dog. Every morning when I wake up I scratch behind my ear, like I'm looking for fleas. Then in the afternoon I run around in circles, like I'm chasing my tail. By the evening I lay down and lick my balls, just because I can. Doc, this has got to stop."

The doctor looks at him and asks: "Do you want to stop now?" The guy says: "Yes, yes"

So the doctor rolls up a magazine, swats the guy on the ass and yells: "Get off the couch!"

Religious Instruction

Teacher: "What do you know about the Resurrection?"

Johnny: "If it lasts more than 4 hrs call your doctor."

Take the Plea

Judge Calloway's court docket was too full.

So he knocked the sodomy charge down to "following too close."