What Are Friends For

: Created: 19 June 2016; Hits: 2230

A woman was in bed screwing her husband's best friend when the phone rang

After hanging up, she says, "That was Harry, but don't worry, he won't be home for a while. He's playing cards with you."

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Total Recall Times Two

Why is the area between her breasts & hips called a waist?

You could easily fit another pair of tits there!

Sometimes You Need A Break In The Action

Two Syrian hookers were talking about their problems. One said: "With the Russians jumping into this war we've got soldiers lined up around the block. I need a break!"

Her girlfriend agreed: "Yeah... I think we need to declare a no fly zone."

Like Father, Like Son

If my son farts or has his hands down his pants, my wife smiles and says, “Like father, like son!”

Yesterday we caught him screwing the neighbor, but for some reason it wasn’t so funny when I said it.